What if our relationship stops here?

What if I don't worth any more time or attention any more?

What if one day I am so tired of these daily boredom and that we do not create fun any more?

Les Trois Soeurs

La vie est ailleurs

Nous ne vivons jamais
Nous ne nous tenons jamais au temps présent. Nous anticipons l'avenir comme trop lent à venir, comme pour hâter son cours ou nous rappelons le passé pour l'arrêter comme trop prompt, si imprudents que nous errons dans les temps qui sont point nôtres et ne pensons point au seul qui nous
appartient, et si vains que nous songeons à ceux qui ne sont rien, et échappons sans réflexion le seul qui subsiste.

La vie prochaine, je deviens ton mer. Je m'en fous que tu n'as pas de côte.

I can help those who don't help themselves.
I can't stand those who are weak.

How capitalist and proud am I, how much prejudice I have within me.

重新出發

回三七看語嫣。

有些人，不用聯絡也可以這樣明白彼此生活，有些人，不用很努力就可以和人分享目前生活中最最重要的事。

覺得無比慶幸曾經在三七工作，淡淡的認識這些人，這樣重感情的人。

至少對我來說，是可以義不容辭為你再度搬家的朋友。經經提起，重重地放下。

--

一個半月，花了很多很多時間好好沈澱，沈澱和自己的關係，沈澱和家人的關係，和愛人的關係，和朋友的關係。

準備啟程再出發，明天充滿動力地再出發。

那些翻過的日曆與寫下的日子都無比珍貴、無比深刻，只是當下不斷地會忘記，忘記像寶藏一樣的這些人，在生命中無比重要的地位。那些在一起跳舞的人，一起旅行的人，一起打球看球賽的人，一起喝酒當喝水的朋友，一起為未來惆悵不堪又滿懷抱負的朋友，那些舊舊的朋友用嶄新的面容與姿態走向我面前的模樣。

當然也有，想要忘記的人。

一個半月的時間，學習當家庭主婦，學習重新找到一個人的平衡點，學習怎麼和法國政府對抗，學習怎麼和自己對抗，學習生活，一個半月的時間，學習自己學習，坐著用力動腦袋。

竟然有某些時刻會抗拒待在電腦面前打理思緒，那是幾年前的我萬萬想不到的呀。

一不小心，竟就變成過動兒了。

明天，就要重新再出發了，充了滿滿的電，用那些旅程，用那些時間，那些愛與話語。

這些努力是不是可以一直支撐我下去到明年五月底？這些努力是否可以讓我前往我想要去的地方，這些努力是不是可以在不遠的將來讓我感到心安？

我們一起去加拿大，是一樣那樣遙遠的陳舊的願望呀，

和母親去溫哥華的驚奇與記憶，和千去魁北克多倫多渥太華的爭吵與牽絆，而將來，和愛人一起建築的新生活新夢想。

我做得到嗎？你做得到嗎？

我們有辦法互相拉拔至此嗎？

我多麼願意，我多麼渴望和這個人分享未來。

一起變老一起想像那些未來的更美好的時刻。

--

明天，用力認識很多人，The Art of People

There was blood on the sheet.
And we cleaned it up together.
And I think it was the most embarrassed and sweet moment ever.

what i ve done wrong yesterday

My body my choice

It's never too late

Done is better than perfect

Follow your heart

Grab what you want

For the last two months of my 2017

1. "What was my most productive month this week?" 

September, when a long vacation is over and new life, new semester and season has begun. It's when I was born and I often feel very energetic this month.

Was it January, when you were all hyped about the new year? What did you do that made you so productive? What was your daily schedule like? What were you spending your time doing? This is where keeping a journal can be extremely helpful. You can always look back to see what your day to day was like.

2. "Who in my life has been the most helpful?"

Nico and my mom. I need the support from them so much.

I don't necessarily mean helpful as in, "Who has done the most for me?" What I mean is, who in your life has been the best influence? Who has been the most understanding, supportive? Who has taught you the most? These are the people you should prioritize spending more time with, moving forward.

3. "Who in my life has been the most distracting?"

Conversely, who in your life has made working toward your goals more difficult? Who gives you every reason not to make progress, not to get done what you need to get done? There will always be people in your life who, in some way, make it more difficult to put your head down and get things done. And I'm not saying to stop being friends with them. Just be aware of how and why things happen, and make decisions accordingly.

4. "When do I get the best work done?"

In the morning in a coffee shop and late night in a coffee shop.

Is it in your apartment in the early morning? Is it at a coffee shop, late afternoon? Is it while you're traveling? When do you get in your flow most frequently, and what can you do to put yourself in more situations like that, more often?

5. "What have you been prioritizing over those personal goals of yours?"

Being with my love, but is being with my love not meaning a personal goal?

Being with my friends.

A lot of people say they want to get healthy and go to the gym more. A lot of people talk about that book they want to write, or that startup idea they want to pursue. And yet, very few do. So the real question is, "What are you prioritizing?" Why are you choosing to do other things, if you keep saying what you really want to do is this thing you never prioritize doing? 

6. "What are your most used excuses?"

I don't want to.

We all have them--our long list of excuses as to why we can't do something. The most popular one is, "I don't have enough time." That's a lie. You have time to take 34 minute showers. You have time to watch your favorite shows. You have time to go out for nice dinners. You have plenty of time. So, take some time then and question what your favorite excuses are--and then ask yourself what you can do to excuse yourself from your tasks at hand, less.

7. "What will bring you the most fulfillment?"

People's recognition, nature.

People love choosing projects that bring them external approval, financial reward, or some other form of "guaranteed success." But what about personal fulfillment? What did you say you were going to do this year, for the sake of just being happy, that somehow got pushed to the wayside?